Post by Tsukikage on Dec 8, 2008 5:44:03 GMT -6
You ever have a dream where you aren't human? How about several... in fact, I suppose I should say almost all of them. Ever since I was about 16 (I'm 20 now, so 4 years), I've known about something... odd in me. At first, I started seeing a wolf I called Aibou (Japanese for "Partner"), who was basically a physical/mental incarnation of my own conscience. She'd always tell me what I already knew was right or wrong.
Things went along just fine for me and Aibou for a while -- since I understood that she was all in my head. Then I met this girl (a real one this time). She was a lot of fun to hang out with, but... she changed me somehow. She called it being a "breaker" (If you've ever read "Juvenile Orion", you know what I'm talking about). I became attached to her, like a pet. And before you say it -- no, it was love or bf/gf or anything as nice as that. This was different. I knew I'd begun acting differently, and I knew that it was her, but I was helpless. Around this time, I'd begun Phantom Shifting, a state in which a therian feels extra limbs, like a tail, ears, a snout -- whatever. This wasn't a huge deal, until I felt the leash around my neck.
Eventually, I broke her leash on me, and we had a serious falling out. So, I wandered for a while... I had suddenly become a puppy in a little over a month, and now I was lost, and didn't know what to do. I wound up starving myself for two weeks (bad idea, fyi) sometime last year.
After almost a year of Phantom- and Spirit-shifts into my wolf form happening less and less frequently, Leon appeared. Leon was a nickname I've had for a few years now, and according to this tiger (in my head again XD), is my Therian or werename. I guess he liked the name, or something. Another recent occurrence is that people have regarded me as more cat-like lately than dog-like ("Puppy-kun" is another nickname I've had since meeting the "Breaker"). Also, I've been cat-napping a lot lately. I didn't mind talking to Leon at first, like I do with my cartoon characters, but now I only see him in reflections, and in my mind's eye, and I can't talk to him anymore without feeling like I'm talking to myself -- technically, I talk to myself when I'm writing stories and drawing, but I talk to the characters as if they are separate entities.
So I did a little digging, and found a few sites on Therianism and the like. From what I can piece together, the wolf had been imprinted onto my spirit by that "Breaker", and that I was never truly a wolf at all. Other information suggests that a therian can go through an "Aspect Change", or even have multiple aspects, or theriotypes.
I'm not entirely sure what to make of all of this. I mean, sometimes I feel like I'm someone else entirely, and yes, I have really wagged or twitched a tail that I know shouldn't/doesn't exist, but this whole Therian thing sounds a bit weird, even for me. It sounds right, and when I'm Leon, it all makes sense, but then I step back a moment and think, "Am I gonna wind up with MPD or something?"
What do you guys think?
Things went along just fine for me and Aibou for a while -- since I understood that she was all in my head. Then I met this girl (a real one this time). She was a lot of fun to hang out with, but... she changed me somehow. She called it being a "breaker" (If you've ever read "Juvenile Orion", you know what I'm talking about). I became attached to her, like a pet. And before you say it -- no, it was love or bf/gf or anything as nice as that. This was different. I knew I'd begun acting differently, and I knew that it was her, but I was helpless. Around this time, I'd begun Phantom Shifting, a state in which a therian feels extra limbs, like a tail, ears, a snout -- whatever. This wasn't a huge deal, until I felt the leash around my neck.
Eventually, I broke her leash on me, and we had a serious falling out. So, I wandered for a while... I had suddenly become a puppy in a little over a month, and now I was lost, and didn't know what to do. I wound up starving myself for two weeks (bad idea, fyi) sometime last year.
After almost a year of Phantom- and Spirit-shifts into my wolf form happening less and less frequently, Leon appeared. Leon was a nickname I've had for a few years now, and according to this tiger (in my head again XD), is my Therian or werename. I guess he liked the name, or something. Another recent occurrence is that people have regarded me as more cat-like lately than dog-like ("Puppy-kun" is another nickname I've had since meeting the "Breaker"). Also, I've been cat-napping a lot lately. I didn't mind talking to Leon at first, like I do with my cartoon characters, but now I only see him in reflections, and in my mind's eye, and I can't talk to him anymore without feeling like I'm talking to myself -- technically, I talk to myself when I'm writing stories and drawing, but I talk to the characters as if they are separate entities.
So I did a little digging, and found a few sites on Therianism and the like. From what I can piece together, the wolf had been imprinted onto my spirit by that "Breaker", and that I was never truly a wolf at all. Other information suggests that a therian can go through an "Aspect Change", or even have multiple aspects, or theriotypes.
I'm not entirely sure what to make of all of this. I mean, sometimes I feel like I'm someone else entirely, and yes, I have really wagged or twitched a tail that I know shouldn't/doesn't exist, but this whole Therian thing sounds a bit weird, even for me. It sounds right, and when I'm Leon, it all makes sense, but then I step back a moment and think, "Am I gonna wind up with MPD or something?"
What do you guys think?